And where it went....

The logic speaks for itself logically.

A 2010 diary stops when 2010 is dead and gone. As 2010 moves from reality into history, this related diary follows that same path. It’s over. It will only be referred to as a relic from the past. Days gone by. Another year bites the dust. That’s the logic of life’s journey. Tick tock. And where it went....

And as this truth is as solid as logic itself, there is no turning back nor manipulation of time. This is it. Enjoy what follows. 2011 ... It’s your turn now. Switch your stage lights on.

The odds

Looking for some (real) news these days is nearly a mission from hell. Every media outlet on any platform is overloaded with Year Reviews and Best Of 2010 lists. They are as useful as an arctic Northface jacket in the sandpit of Darfur.

But just to add to the meaningless waste of time and space,... here’s what comes to my mind when 2010 kicks the bucket.

We had of course our headline magnet Julius Malema. We won’t forget that bloody agent moment. Staying in the same downtown corridors. The ANC remains (only) focused on internal power struggles ahead of the 2012 Bloemfontein party conference (which – the way it’s going - seems will make the backstabbing of Polokwane look like a tea party). JZ wasn’t much around it seems. He has been collecting airmiles (didn’t we criticise Mbeki for being on the road too much??). He seemed a bit MIA most of the time, but then hit back with a cabinet reshuffle that looked more a pre-Bloemfontein positioning tactic than a delivery-based assesment.

Then of course we had the toilet sage in the Western Cape. How a load of crap can turn nasty and beyond ridiculousness.

And for sure we had our headline grabbing honeymoon killing. The Dewani mystery. This will be without a doubt a very juice tale for 2011. And Hollywood's scriptwriters are probably hard at work with it too. Maybe new public relations spin for SA. Cheap SAA offers. Fly in for the weekend, stay at a nice hotel or lodge, and we’ll add a hit man if requested. A gap in the market!

There was also this little saga about Gupta and his helicopter and Zoo Lake.

And of course the second half of 2010 had plenty of sushi stories and semi-naked bodies as serving trays. Eish.

Zapiro kept kicking around. Cartoons with a Christian touch pissed off the Christians. When a bearded Muslim was drawn, the Muslims screamed and shouted insults. When a reference to Israel was depicted, the Jewish community cried foul. When JZ was fitted a showerhead (again) the ANC spindoctors went on the attack. Like a merry go round and round. And 2011 will be the same selective anger and outrage.
Across the Limpopo and beyond, 2010 really had only 1 big hitter and that was/is the ongoing WikiLeaks thriller. Great stuff. More to come for sure.

So that’s that for 2010,.... oh I forgot. Some months ago we went into delirium for the worldcup. South Africa was another country for those few weeks,.... but soon after we fell back to reality (crime, dirty politics, strikes,...). Well done to Spain for taking the cup to Madrid. Shame on the French. And Bafana Bafana shouldn’t worry too much about being the first host to be kicked out in the first round. In 2022 when the football circus (and FIFA’s money making racket) moves to Qatar, our boys won’t be alone anymore in that category.

So 2011 is getting ready to come and tease us. Besides the Dewani saga, we’ll have guaranteed more and more Sarah Palin nonsense as the US is moving slowly into election fever (first primaries kick off early 2012). SA will happily host U2 for 2 gigs. The ANC will continue on its dark slope of internal fights and gravy train ticketing. I hope I’m wrong, but the odds are against me.

And probably Man Utd will be England’s champion again despite attempts by Arsenal and Man City to take the crown. Chelsea will fire its coach. Barcelona will make Madrid bite the dust once again.

And probably nature will scream and shout again with floods, blizzards, earthquakes and droughts in parts of the globe. The pattern of increased freak weather will make the globe warming doubters hang their heads in shame. Wake up and get real!

Stay sane!

Condoms!!

When on Friday night we tick tock into 2011, there will be 6.934.196.000 humans roaming planet earth.

That's 80 million more than when we started 2010.

A German population organisation has done these new calculations. 80 Million more in 1 year. That's a frightening rhythm. It is expected that by mid next year we will cross the 7 billion mark. Overcrowded or what?????

Every second, an average of 2.6 people are being born. It's a thundering train to too many on a too small planet.

Scary.

Daniel Balsam

This is a story about the little man fighting the evil empires.

American Daniel Balsam had enough of spam and ad emails filling up his inbox every day. So he took the senders to court.... and won. And won, and won, and won,...

8 Years ago Daniel had enough of the crap filling his emails and went on a revenge trip. He launched www.danhatesspam.com, resigned from his marketing job and went on to study law.

And his hit-back campaign had great success. His lawsuits won him more than 1 million US$ so far, and fighting illicit email senders has become his full time job.

Kick that. Keep it up Daniel!!

Aubergine

Just like that. We got invited to lunch in Cape Town. Short notice but no worries.

After some options were checked, we ended up at Aubergine in Gardens. And that was just perfect!

A little gastronomic haven tucked away in Barnet Street (number 39). Fantastic setting. Fantastic food (and we had fantastic company too). A real gastronomic pearl discovered.


Check it out (urgently!!): www.aubergine.co.za

The 12th month so far

Slightly hectic. 10 Flights since Nov 29. 3 Countries.

Ipod Nano-Touch. Tusker. From 43 to 44. Mines. John West. Good behavior and bad behavior. Pre-2006 rejection. The Nile. Aubergine. Birth. The slowness of speed. Vredehoek. Newlands. Pinelands. Blouberg. V&A. Observatory. Camps Bay. Peninsula. Rosebank here and Rosebank there. Avis. Sun and rain. Hyndai. Toyota. Boeing. Adidas. Puma. La Senza. Cape Union Mart. Spur madness. Old Khaki. Exclusive Books. Primi. Ipad. Randclub. La Motte Sauvignon Blanc. Snow and more snow (but far away). Trojan. Customer copy. Cheque in the mail. Zambia. Standard Bank. Green pool. WikiLeaks. 50.

Stupidity Unltd.

And there he drove by this morning. A bakkie with a sticker on the back that read All White Men Are Racist.

As simple as that! A Monday morning statement from a caveman. How racist is he himself who put such a sticker on ones car? It's about the kettle and the pot.....

Simplicity of mind is stupidity. Stay in your cave!

No bargain

BrusselsLeaks

In the slipstream of WikiLeaks comes BrusselsLeaks.com.

A anonymous group have set up the site to spread information about what happens in the corridors of power of the European Union institutions. Especially the power and spin of the many lobbygroups will be exposed.

The site owners better get good lawyers too and speak to WikiLeaks founder Asange about the revenge of the powers that be.

All in the name of freedom of information. The Babylon Towers of the EU has many dark corners and secret corridors....

With a little help from the guard

Trying?

Freezer with attitude

Not at my frontdoor!

Kill slowly

Maybe in 1 occasion torture might be allowed,... and that's for those losers wasting my time and their time and our time with their crap spam. Nothing better to do???


From The Desk of Mr Ahmed Al Sultan.
Branch Manager National Bank of Abu Dhabi Al Ain Branch Ali Ibn Abi Talib St, Near Oud Al Tawba Roundabout,United Arab Emirates U.A .E
Email: ahmed.nbd21@gmail.com

Good day Friend,

I am pleased to get across to you with a very urgent and profitable business proposal. I got your e-mail address on the Internet while browsing and after that, i decided to contact you and ask for your assistance in this urgent matter that requires trust and confidentiality. I am Mr Ahmed Al Sultan, Branch manager, National Bank of Abu Dhabi Al Ain Branch Ali Ibn Abi Talib St, Near Oud Al Tawba Roundabout (UNITED ARAB EMIRATES), Married with four Kids.

I am writing this proposal to ask for your support and cooperation to carry out this deal opportunity in my department. On June 6, 1999, an America Oil consultant/contractor with Petroleum Corporation, Mr Thomas Stone, made a numbered time (fixed) deposit for twelve calendar months, Valued at US$12,000,000.00 (Twelve Million United State Dollars in my branch upon maturity. I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the Petroleum Corporation that Mr Thomas Stone, died in the plane crash On October 31, 1999, ( an Egyptian Boeing 767 Flight 990 ) with other passengers on board as you can confirm it yourself via the website below.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/1999/11/01/iran/main49778.shtml

Most astonishing of my discovery was that, all records bear no next of kin, meaning no member of Mr Thomas Stone, family knows about the deposit therefore, no member of his family will ever come forward to claim the money, in order for the bank not to transfer the said sum of Twelve Million United State Dollars ($12,000,000.00) as unclaimed funds to the emirates treasury account, the above stated funds most be claimed immediately by somebody standing in as late Mr Thomas Stone.

Next of Kin, According to (UNITED ARAB EMIRATES LAW), at the expiration of 12 (Twelve) years, the money will be revert to the ownership of the (UNITED ARAB EMIRATES) Government if nobody applies to claim the fund. This revelation is only known to me because i was his personal account officer before i was posted to become the branch manager, now i seek your cooperation to act as next of kin to late Mr Thomas Stone, to claim the funds and move them into useful investments, we shall split the cash between our self upon the confirmation of the money into your Bank account. I am ready to offer you 35% of the total fund and 60% for me while 5% will be set aside for any expenses that might be incurred during the transaction.

Please note that by virtue of my position in the bank, i have worked out perfect modality as well as i shall provide the relevant information's and documents for the successful claiming and transfer of the funds into the account that will be provided by you. I cannot stand in the forefront of this transaction because i work with the bank ,that is why i have come to you for assistance, be rest assured that this deal involves no risk , upon the receiving of your acceptance mail . I will like you to provide me with the following details, to my private email address: ( ahmed.nbd21@gmail.com )


(1) Your Valid Direct Tel/ Mobile/Fax Number.
(2) Your Full Name:
(3) Current Resident Address.
(4) Your Private E-mail Address.
(5) Your Occupation:
(6) Your Age and Sex:
(7) Your Nationality:


Then i shall furnish you with due process of concluding this transaction without any delay. please discard this message if you are not interested. One Passionate appeal, i will make to you is not to discuss this matter with anybody, if you have any reasons to reject this offer, please and please destroy this message as any Leakage of this information will be too bad for me at my work place as the Branch Manager National Bank of Abu Dhabi, here in U.A.E.

Thanks for your kind understanding.

Mr Ahmed Al Sultan.
Branch Manager National Bank of Abu Dhabi Al Ain Branch Ali Ibn Abi Talib St, Near Oud Al Tawba Roundabout, United Arab Emirates U.A .E

Zapiro

Like an annual rendez-vous. And on time like a Swedish train.

The new Zapiro cartoon end-of-year collection is about to hit the bookstores. There are some launches in Jozi and Cape Town in coming days.

Tabloid rugby

Drugs and sex. SA rugby is in the news! It's like a Nollywood and/or tabloid version of Invictus. Istead of heroism and national pride, it's dope, hitmen and love triangles.

Juicy stuff. Players sent home for taking banned substances (knowingly or not), and then a mother sends out a Nigerian hitsquad to take out a Blue Bulls youngster who is having a relationship with the daughter. A movie scriptwriter could not have come up with a better blockbuster. And on top of that the Bokke lost against Scotland.

What's next before the game against England? A secret love child? Indian gambling syndicate now targetting rugby? Bokke player with poker addiction? Blue Bulls orgies? Sharks' nightclub brawl?

Breaking News (not)

Here we were. Simple but nice pasta lunch in Melville. Mobile phone gives the sound related to an incoming SMS.

It's a Breaking News message from Eye Witness News. One of those you open right away. But to my big surprise it's a message that British heir to the thrown (or what's left of it) William will marry his girlfriend Kate in 2011.

Now since when is that breaking news for people here in South Africa? Are we still royal subjects? Just don't get it honestly... It is an insult to real breaking, important news to have this announcement as a sms-newsalert.

Naked ban

Trends come and go faster than eating a Mac burger (euh...), and some create more waves than others.

Apparently in China the new trend for young married couples is to have nude wedding pictures taken. But now an association of wedding protographers in China are calling for a ban on naked newly weds. They just can't concentrate anymore...

And in good Chinese tradition there is a serious threat to the naked newly weds. If they would spread their wedding album for instance via the web they could face charges of spreading pronography.

So don't throw that tux away yet...

...Was

Gone again. Like an eagle on Red Bull. Like a bullet from a 9mm. Like the Gautrain on full speed. The week that was. Somebody urgently need to slow down this thundering train. Kill the pilot!

Juju and twitter remain the joke of the year. You can't even explain it to people in Europe or the US or Indonesia.... The future leader of the Rainbow Nation in need of some medication to come back to reality. Oeps,... I'll probably be called an anti-revolutionary now!

Obama in Asia. JZ too. Ray Davies never stops. New Vusi album soon. Banyana Banyana. It seems some teams think Eq. Guinea fielded some men in their female football team. Should be easy to check... NYC. GoSS. Brooklyn in Pretoria. ATM that doesn't work. Lenasia. PVR issues. Man dies on SAA flight from Jozi to Kaapstad. Past & Present. New Brusselmans. New Peter Harris. 7 Hours in Nairobi. Lions, elephants and gorillas. Liverpool FC. Soweto derby today. Soweto marathon last Sunday. Joao still in DC. Joburg city billing system still a galaxy away from being like a "world class city". Solar energy. New anti-drunk-driving car-tool in Belgium. If you've been caught drunk driving once you will need to install a breath-tester in your car. That tester is linked to you ignition. You gotta blow first before you can turn the key. If too much booze, the engine wont start. Smart!

Ray & Lola

Londoner Raymond Douglas Davies - aka Ray Davies - is an old chap. Born in 1944 and kicked to fame with rockers The Kinks.

He just released an album of Kinks classics recorded with friends like Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi,...

Just heard the surprising re-take of The Kinks' supersong Lola with guest vocals by Paloma Faith. At first listen you might go "No man....", but re-takes are not there to be carboncopies of the original (that fails 99.99999999999% of the time) but a creative and original approach to a classic. And this is what Ray and Paloma did with Lola.

And thus, as they say, find Ray Davies' album See My Friends in a recordstore near you,.... or on the net.

Apocalypse Now

It's the season of thunder and lighting in Jozi, but Radio 702 went a bit too far this morning. The way they made the expected downpour the leadstory at 7am, sounded like the apocalypse was about to happen within minutes. The end of the world as we know it. Darkness descends forever. Armageddon awaits. Say your final prayers!

Probably some Jehovah witnesses were all in a high (sorry folks!), but it was just another rainy moment. Nothing more, nothing less. Townships weren't swept away by the apocalyptic storm. Eskom survived the drops from the sky. Nobody - as far as I know - got stuck under a fallen tree because of gusting winds. So why this mad newsreports about the pending disasters from the sky?

Take a deep breath and smell the fresh air.

Back

Guess who's back?

Yesterday Liverpool's Fernando Torres gave us some flashbacks of what he was and could be again. Two goals by the Spanish striker sent Chelsea back to London empty-handed. It was the good old Torres again. The deadly striker! The magic touch. The speed, the hunger, the vision.

Sorry Chelsea lads, but Torres decided to bring back the best of himself just as Chelsea was coming to Anfield.

Fingers crossed now that Fernando keeps up the magic. Once again.

Terminated

Tuesday's election day in the US marks the end of an era in its richest State.

Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger is packing his bags. No more governor. End of term. And on top of that the Republicans lost California to Democrat governor-candidate Jerry Brown. At least some good news for the Democrats amidst the avalanche of Republican victory in the US Congress.

The Terminator terminated. Will be back,.... or will be back no more?

Wonder how his wife feels about it as she has Democrat blood running through her veins as she is part of the Kennedy dynasty. Maybe Arnold will go back to Hollywood for a movie about his governorship. From Conan to Terminator to Governor. All in a bodybuilder’s life. The 'true' story of a pile of muscles. In a cinema near you soon! Asta la vista baby.

Tweeting Julius

The fight is on!!! Julius vs Twitter.

It seems that the almighty ANC Youth League is aiming for full web control. Global control! They have enough of Twitter and want it closed. Now. Right away. Basta!

They say there are just too many Malema impersonators on Twitter and thus it needs to be closed. Pull the plug! There can only be one JM and that is the real dude!

The ANC YL said they will go the the cops to close this evil thing down. Wow, they really have faith in the kick ass powers of the SAPS! Should we bet on this??

South

European birds are heading south as winter is moving in up there.

The Zuma show

The week (incl. weekend) that was.

Halloween seems a growing US export product. Zuma sends some packing and contacts the printers for new biz cards for others. The Sharks rule in their tank. Magic touch from Torres lifts Liverpool's spirits. The Tea Party is the talk of the town across the US of A. Lions in the Free State. Mandela at the Market Theatre. UPS and its explosive content. 1Time and its evacuation. Brazil gets first female president (they always seem a step ahead of us). To confuse us all, Europe changed their clocks last weekend and the US will do the same next weekend. Eish! Joao Silva is in DC. We wish him strength. Herschelle Gibbs is stepping on some toes. Has Vavi become an informal sushi promoter? Cuz any publicity is good publicity.... And the SABC keeps slipping up and delivering us more 'surprises'. Yesterday, less than 2 hours after Zuma's major cabinet reshuffle, SABC3's 7pm English bulletin started with the line that El Presidente changed his team,... but then the newsanchor said "We'll come back to that story a bit later". Wow. How to ridiculize yourself on a major local news day! Double eish!

RIP Paul

World cup blues ends in tragedy. Paul the octopus has died!

Paul surprised the whole world time after time by rightly predicting matchwinners - including finalist Spain- throughout the worldcup. But maybe it stressed him out because Paul passed away peacefully in his sleep today in his German aquarium.

The world is grieving. Within an hour of his death, more than 150 messages of condolence were posted on Paul's "official" Facebook page. Paul was connected!

Joao

Damn. Friend got seriously injured in Afghanistan. Joao Silva. Portuguese lad but living in SA, with many years of experience (Balkans, MEast, pre-1994 SA township violence,...). Works for the NY Times.

He was one of the 4 lads of the so called Bang Bang Club. He was co-author of a book with same name about covering SA's township violence pre-1994. The book has just been turned into a movie.

Joao stepped on a mine in Kandahar province, after US mine clearance dogs passed over the area. He is receiving treatment at a US military field hospital, and will then be flown to the large, top-of-the-range US army hospital in Rammstein, Germany. Fingers crossed!!!!!!!!!

The pirate from Soweto

Pirates confusion. The Mpumalanga SAPS has confirmed it has arrested an Orlando Pirates player for possessing an unlicensed gun. Eish! Was it for defensive use or counter attack?

The men in blue confirmed that the player and 5 others were arrested in Mbombela and that they found a gun and 13 bullets in the player’s BMW during a regular stop and search police operation.

BMW, gun, bullets. Sounds like a rap video. In Mbombela... was the player going on target practising in Kruger park?

Or just a confused local pirate with Somali aspirations? It’s the admiration for the Soweto’s team’s flag that got the player confused with the pirates from the high seas. Education remains a challenge in SA!

Ups and Oeps

Up they go. The worldcup is done and dusted, and now Bafana Bafana start climbing the FIFA rankings. We gotta teach them timing!!

The new list reveals our boys jumped 6 spots and are now 52nd. I think we were somewhere near 82nd when the worldcup kick off. But I might be a bit wrong cuz the football showcase seems looooooong gone.

World champions Spain are still number one. The Dutch are 2nd and Brazil 3rd. Russia jumped from 25th to number 10. They were not even in South Africa. First African team is Egypt on the 11th spot. Ghana is 17th and Drogba's boys 2 spots lower. Papa New Guinea is 203rd and last.

From Up to Oeps! Earlier this month Germany beat Turkey 3-0 in a Euro 2012 qualifier. All fine. But then German Chancellor Angela Merkel rushed into the dressing room to congratulate the lads. Angela appologized afterwards. Hope there were enough beach towels!

Bands and pants

It's downhill for Rooney. From pants troubles to footy troubles.

Before getting married it was generally known that Man Utd striker Wayne Rooney liked to pay for sex. Then he got married and started a family. But it seems this didn't stop his moonlighting. And his private troubles started to rock his performances on the pitch of the famous Red Devils. And thus his manager started to get nervous and had a talk to his wild child. But as these things go (ask Tiger Woods) it's hard to stop a downhill train. So Rooney's performance started to get worse. And just at a moment where Man Utd really needed its striker to be in full swing. And thus at the bottom of the hill comes the hard reality and thus a breakdown in dealings between Rooney and his club, and thus a breakdown in contract renewal negotiations,... and thus much talk of Rooney leaving Man Utd very soon. There's only 1 person to blame!

From pants to bands. Irish superband U2 is coming to SA next February it seems. 2 Gigs, 1 in the FNB stadium in Jozi and 1 in Cape Town. At least the world cup stadiums will be full again for once.

The week that was

One of those 7 days that passed like it was just a flash.... An extremely brief moment in history.

33 Miners. Body guards and apologies. Liverpool FC court- and boardroom drama. Led Zeppelin remasters. Kalk Bay. Book launch. House by the Scottish lake/dam. Phonecall at 930pm. Fashion. Township rugby. Rhinos and lions. London. The Times didn't arrive. Community patrols. Dogs. Malta. Bees in the shark tank on Saturday. Sudan. Crowded House. Bridge School benefit. C To C, Steenberg, Norwood, Auckland Park, Cresta. Dirty car (and every car guard reminding me of it). Visa. Heita and 8ta. The return of Mbeki (every TV or paper last week had Thabo in it). Thabo-overdose!

That fly

It's seriously annoying! A super slow, arrogant, semi-suicidal, fat fly near one's laptop's keyboard. Just crawling slowly and ever closer without respect, boundaries, nor pre-warning.

A slight movement of the left hand makes her/him move - slowly again - a few centimeters away. But then he/she comes back within seconds. Back and closer. Without any excuses. Just moving on as slow as it can get. A handicapped, old-aged ant is 100 times faster.

To kill or not to kill?!?

New left hand movement. Slow reaction from that damn fly. But he/she just crawls back like there is no issue.

So a wider, faster move from my left hand and off he/she finally goes. Damn slow, fat, ugly fly. Know your territory!

Up!!

Chile is worldnews for sure. It's gripping reality TV with real people, real emotions, real hopes and fears. Humanity at its best. United for once. Equipment from South Africa and Austria. Advice from the US. Army specialists from Chile on stand-by. Worldwide media. It's amazing.

ETV is not eTV

Sights & Sounds

This must be South Africa. You wake up with an SMS from your Community Forum that says there has been an armed robbery in your 'hood. Then you listen to the radio while having a shower and a zebra is on the loose, and 25% of cops in Tshwane are under investigation for corrupt activities.

At least there was the lovely smell of ther first (light) rain....

Red

Merseyside and Boston. 1 Struggle. 1 Fight. 1 Goal. United in arms! You will never walk alone...

Liverpool FC is in a mess on the field, and in the boardroom. At least the boardroom stalemate might see the end of the tunnel soon. I said might.

The Reds' board has agreed to sell the club to the owners of US baseball legends Boston Red Sox. United in colour!

Price: US$477 million.

But - there is always a but - the current American owners of Liverpool FC are not keen to sell to the Boston baseball champs. So the board might have to take the Liverpool fans' much hated Tom Hicks and George Gilett to court to force them to sell. It ain't over till it's over. The Yanks duo owners want much more cash.

If the deal happens it will be an historic handshake of two clubs with a rich history of pride and glory.

BCC

SA's music producer Kevin Shirley is kicking it once more in the international rock scene.

Kevin's the brainchild behind Black Country Communion, a new supergroup that hit the UK's rockcharts like a thunderstorm.

The 4 lads that form BCC come with some titanic rock credentials: Glenn Hughes on bass and vocals (Deep Purple, Black Sabbath,...), bluesrock master guitarist Joe Bonamassa, Jason Bonham (son of legendary Led Zep's John Bonham, Foreigner,...., Jason played for Led Zeppelin during their 2007 reunion gigs), and keyboardist Derek Sherinian (Alice Cooper,...). And the result of this massive cocktail is the selftitled debut album by BCC that was released end September. The band's name is a reference to England's industrial (broken) heartland where Hughes and Bonham come from.

Toast issues

President JZ was in Belgium earlier this week. He was hooking up with the political elite of the European Union, as well as being on a state visit to the Kingdom of tiny Belgium.

The Presidency had sent out JZ’s “toast remarks” by email on Wednesday. I got confused. Was JZ unhappy about his breakfast? Burned toast? White bread instead of brown bread? JZ doesn’t want whole wheat? What was going on?

Or being in Belgium maybe he expected chips and mayonnaise with his toast and as it came with a fine selection of marmalades and jams, our Commander-In-Chief was disappointed and made some “toast remarks” on the customer form in his luxury room. “Dear King of Belgium, why didn’t I get some culinary traditions on my toast this morning?!?”

Eish! JZ not happy with his toast!! “Pilot! Start the engines, I’m outta here!!”

Lights out

Higher & higher

So an SAA air-hostess got caught in the UK with cocaine vallued at just over R1.000.000 in her underwear. Is that a support-bra?

Seems flying high in the sky was just not high enough? But she came crashing down and will sit in a UK jail for 7 years now. From above the African sky to down in the slammer. All in a flash!

Optional?

Question. Are indicators in BMW cars optional? So they don't come standard, right? Cause no BMW drivers seem to use them.

Or did the German carmaker put the indicator switch somewhere hidden?

Just a question...

Wham spam

Rrrr. Illicit emails from some loosers around the world is pissing me off! Every day it's an avalanche of spam. Years ago it was all about free diplomas from unknown universities and penis enlargements. These days it's much more boring. It's mainly from existing banks. Spam for sure but made to look like communication from well known banks. Click here. Send us your details now for a tax refund. Error in your account, please follow this link. And on the fraud goes. Just plain ridiculous. But the fact they keep coming on a daily basis (probably 50% of my daily intake) means that there are some stupid people out there still believing in those.

Instead of a pigspotter we need a spam buster.

Before the ban

Interesting booklaunch this late afternoon at Boekehuis in Auckland Park, Jozi. At 630pm.

Collection of investigative reporting. With as background the ongoing push by the ruling party (and its sidekicks) for a restrective Information Bill and a punitive Media Tribunal. So get this before it's banned!

Messi's back

It's been a week-or-so with funny, crazy, lunatic, ridiculous, nice, sweet,... things happening on this globe that we could fill 250 Qu'rans, 130 Bibles, a trillion Twitters, and a whole series of novels. Human kind is rock 'n' rolling.

Pastor Jones and his burning feeling. 9/11 Remembered. Benni McCarthy's fat. Malema and Zuma (again and again). That pigspotter dude. Did I miss another Paris Hilton dope story? Oh and YES,... Barcelona's superstar Messi is back with a vengeance. The Champions League kicked off this week and the Argentinian just showed off his galactical qualities. It was just mindblowing to watch. Interesting how much a team can make a player shine. Here in SA during the worldcup Messi never shined with Argentina. But back in Barcelona it's just magic all over.

And let's not forget there is still no government in Belgium and Holland. The Pope has arrived in the UK amidst another storm about priests and kids. Eish!! Afghanistan is voting but you can buy voting cards on the black market for a few bucks. Tea Party candidates win in the US. Hope they don't ban coffee. Trouble in the Big Brother house. Is anybody still watching? Rhinos. Guns. Indigenous games. Lenasia. Baboons. Rising temperatures. The Reserve Bank and its decision. Toll and e-cards. BEE and ZEE. Rooney and his pants down. No play against Everton. Play against Rangers. Waka Waka shirts sold out. The French president cornered. His deportees deported. Banner Pilot remastered. Constitutional safeguards in SA. Durban. Patricia's new job. Water.

Togo is not Togo

It's crazy. Crazy with extra topping.

Earlier this month the tiny Gulf nation of Bahrain played a friendly football match against Togo (in Bahrain) and were very happy with its 3-0 victory despite a boring game.

But what seems now.... Togo wasn't Togo!!! The Togo team on the pitch in Bahrain were imposters. Amazing! A total fraud. Bahrain's been had! It nearly feels like a candid camera situation.

Togo sports officials back in the capital Lome confirmed the official, national team never went to Bahrain. FIFA has now been asked to investigate this amazing fraud.

On top of that it seems that this international friendly was organised by a FIFA certified agent. Bahrain football officials say now that when they got the game sheet just before the kick off (as is the norm) the Togolese players' names were not the ones that they expected but the game went on anyway.

Mindblowing...

Strike of a different kind

We kind of are used to strikes here. It's nearly an annual event. Nurses, teachers, cops, municipal workers, Pik It Up'ers,....

Later this month in Italy there will be a strike of another kind (and I hope it doesn't give ideas to certain South Africans): football players in the main league!!

Italy's association of football players have indeed announced a stay-away for the weekend of Sept 25-26. The reason is a dispute with the clubs they play for, as these clubs want to have the powers to force a player to accept a certain transfer to another club.

And thus the last weekend will see empty pitches and empty stadiums across Italy's calcio. Kick that!

U gotta know

U have the right to know : www.r2k.org.za

Damn right!!

Fingers

A UK band published a song with as title: I'm Not Bulimic, I Just Wanted To See How Far I Could Stick My Fingers Down My Throat

Man on ladder

A man on a ladder near an electric fence at the moment of a ring at the door makes for a shocking encounter.

The ring at the door was a lady and a (her??) child spreading the Jehoha Witness gospel and assembling a fanbase ahead of an upcoming gathering of souls in Randburg.

The man, recently on a ladder, politely - but firmly - rejected the invitation. So his encounter with his electric fence was to meet the religious sales team. That's a sour. Sign from God or related ones, some (aka the believers) might say....

Same day, few hours later. Man, previously on the ladder, reads that the Californian punks Anti-Flag released a single called "The second coming of nothing". Another sign?!? Or revenge of the non-believers?

One thing's for sure. There is serious voltage flowing through that fence.